Saturday, July 2, 2011

I guess it would have been awkward BUT STILL

There comes a time in every girl's life when she gets home, looks in the mirror, and thinks...

"Did I seriously just spend the entire morning walking around the city with talcum powder marks on my boobs?"


Thursday, June 30, 2011

Peeve #468: Talking to unhelpful staff at Telstra shops.

Me: [after spending months battling my anxiety to get to this point] Hi. I had a mobile account with you guys, but it got disconnected because I couldn’t pay my final bill. I was wondering if I could get the same number reconnected and under the same plan? Or a similar plan?

Telstra ponytail dude: *tsk* When numbers are disconnected, it means they’re suspended for twelve months.

Me: Ok.

Telstra ponytail dude:


Telstra ponytail dude: Ok, well I’ll check the computer… yup. So your number’s goneski.

Me: Yup… [waiting for customer service, offer to start another account, anything at all]

Telstra ponytail dude:


Telstra ponytail dude:


Telstra ponytail dude:

Me: ...

Telstra ponytail dude: ...

Me: …ok. Never mind. Bye.

Telstra ponytail dude: Bye bye!

And I backed away slowly.


Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Peeve #467: Nosy cab drivers.

Cab driver: So, you just finished work?
Me: No.
Cab driver: You had a night off?
Me: Yes.
Cab driver: You had a night off, because you had a date with this young man? [points to T, who had just escorted me into cab, kissed me goodnight, and was now crossing the road in front of us]

Me: ...yes.
Cab driver: First date?
Me: ...second.
Cab driver: Is he a pushy guy?
Me: ...
Cab driver: You know, does he push you to have sex?
Cab driver: Oh good. That means he's a nice guy.
Me: That's a relief.
Cab driver: Some guys are pushy, you know, and just want to have sex. [meaningful look in rear view mirror]
Me: ...uh huh.


Except not.

Sunday, June 5, 2011

"I know you don't know me but..."

Weirdest thing a customer has ever said to me (and there have been some doozies):

Him: You're very petite aren't you? My wife is tiny too, she's Thai; she finds it very hard to find clothes and shoes that fit here. She's about the same size as you, actually. Do you want her number? Maybe you could share clothes and shoes and stuff with her.

Me: *imagines getting a call from a complete stranger wanting to borrow your shoes*
Me: thanks.