Friday, March 27, 2009

Serves you right, perv

SCENE: Early afternoon, I am standing innocently at the Uni tram stop waiting to cross the road.

ENTER white van, the driver of which leans out the window and hollers at me.

DRIVER: Well hello, he-LO!

Thus distracted, driver of white van then crashes into the brand new Mitsubishi Lancer in front of it.



Wednesday, March 25, 2009

OHS is for sissies!

Oh my God! This is one of those incidents that will make me both cringe and crack up laughing every time I remember it.

My finger - the one I slammed in a door a few months ago resulting in it swelling to the size of a golf ball before the nail gradually turned black then died then fell off and now there's half a baby nail and half a bare nail bed there - was as usual wrapped in one of those crappy plastic bandaids for work. As I was serving Table 10 (a really nice if somewhat boganish couple) IT SLIPPED OFF MY FINGER AND ONTO THE GIRL'S PLATE! WHICH ALREADY HAD CALAMARI SALAD ON IT!

Lightning-fast I retrieved it, convinced she knew what it was, and hurriedly went to change her plate and replace the food, when she was like, "No, no, I don't mind! What was it anyway?"

Reader, I took the coward's way out. "Uh... a piece of paper I had in my hand."

"Oh, ok." Maybe it was just me but she seemed A LITTLE SUSPICIOUS. She carried on eating nonetheless. So I left it at that.

OMG AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I am a terrible human being.

Hope she doesn't die or anything.