I'd like to see you repeat that in the ring

Via Feministing:

"We already knew Adam Carolla was an ass, but now is also a racist ass to boot. Join the Facebook group campaigning against his offensive remarks towards Filipinos."

I haven't seen the sketch, but it looks like what started as a tirade against boxer Manny Pacquiao (who also participates in Philippine politics) turns into a big old pile of racist shit.

[Manny is] “praying to chicken bones”

“Here’s how you know when your country doesn’t have a lot going for it: When everything is about Manny Pacquiao.”

“Get a fu**in life as a country”

“All you fu**in got is just an illiterate guy who happens to smash other guys in the head better than other people”

“Really, you want some guy with brain damage running your country? Why don’t you get your sh*t together?”

“All they have over there is Manny Pacquiao and sex stores.”

Yeah, 'cos the USA never idolises celebrity sportsmen of dubious intellectual capabilities who decide to dabble in politics. And they never have some guy with brain damage running the country.

Blame

What is it with people and their frantic need to point fingers? The first thing they do after a tragedy is blame the nearest, most ridiculous thing. Shooting massacre? Blame video games! Murder-suicide? Blame heavy metal! High-speed car chase that ended in the criminal running a red light and killing a young family, himself and landing his girlfriend in a coma? Blame the police!

I know it's all misplaced anger and stages of grief and all, but still. Nobody is responsible for the actions of another, and considering the police ended pursuit before the collision it's a bit of a stretch to hold them responsible for this tragedy. To demand police pursuits are "banned" and blame the deaths of this innocent family on the police... I understand anger, I understand not knowing what to do with it, but I don't understand the need to blame when it makes no sense.

Nice Guy Whinetini

Ho boy. So there I was at Berlin Bar socialising with and slowly getting to know my friend Monique's latest squeeze, when what does the guy do? HE GOES ON A NICE GUY RANT.

If friends’ relationships had that little option like YouTube comments do, where you can click “thumbs up” or “thumbs down”, this guy would be sitting on -2 as a prospective boyfriend.

“Here’s what I don’t understand about women...” he suddenly blurts. That gets my attention straightaway, and not in an attentive OMG-Smart-Man-Saying-Something-Witty way.

“With women it’s like, applying for a job, right? You ace the interview, you’re neatly-presented and polite, and have all the right qualifications. But they say no, actually, despite all that I’m going to hire this other guy who is less qualified than you, who turns up late for work and sometimes drinks! And then they phone you and complain about what a jerk the OTHER GUY is! What is with that?”

Luckily for this guy’s balls the topic was killed by the abrupt arrival of our cocktail waiter but I couldn’t get the painful sound of STUPID out of my ears all night.

Oh, so women – simply by existing – are by default “advertising” for this “job”. And every single guy is, by default, automatically granted this figurative job interview? What are these purported “qualifications” you have that are so wonderful anyhow? And what is this “job” you think you’re applying for, can we elaborate on that? The job of you getting to have sex with hot chicks? You picked the metaphor, jackass, I’m just rolling with it.

Here’s the thing about the Nice Guy rant. Oh, you know the one. “I’m so nice but women only want to be FRIENDS with me and they only like jerks and then they COMPLAIN TO ME ABOUT THEM THE INSENSTIVE DUMBASS WHORES WOE IS ME.”

1. You are assuming the world is made up of only three types of people. Nice Guys, Jerks, and Women.

2. Women are generally saying “I just want to be friends” or keep up some pretence of a civil relationship with you because they are socialised to be nice and submissive and polite, so although they are aware you are sexually interested in them they ARE NOT INTERESTED IN YOU but do not want to hurt your feelings or possibly compromise their safety by being a “bitch” about it. Like that matters, because somebody like you probably only sees women are bitches and hos anyway.

3. Is your head so fucking up your own arse that you don’t have the slightest shred of a clue about your own roaring hypocrisy? Going on about how shallow women are for rejecting you when you are only ever referring to women you find ATTRACTIVE? If an unattractive woman you found “nice” had a desperate crush on you, would you play by your own rules and date the Nice Girl Who is “Qualified” or the Hottie Who Is Slightly Less “Qualified” but you’re much more interested in?

4. If you expect sex as a reward you are entitled to for being a decent human being to attractive women, and complain about women who subsequently believe you’re their friend (probably why confide in you about their relationship problems, funnily enough!) after you fucking emotionally manipulated them trying to get yourself laid, and then get FURIOUS and BITTER when it becomes clear they're not interested... THEN YOU ARE NOT A VERY NICE GUY. At least a Jerk is straightforward about being a jerk – you on the other hand are creepy and calculating and do not accept a woman’s right to chose whom to date, whom to fuck and whom to reject.

5. In fact you can fuck right off you entitled misogynistic little turd.

6. No really, fuck off.

Yes, rejection sucks, but let’s not chalk it up to how you’re so fucking nice and it’s all womankind’s fault for being too shallow and dumb to see it. Here’s a novel idea! Try seeing women as human beings, not a collective vagina that won’t let you put your penis in it!

Monique, I’m worried. In case you’re wondering about what the other “thumbs down” was for, Mr New Guy is also very picky and judgemental about the way women dress – deriding passing girls with jeans of a certain fit as having a “bad look” for example, or asserting how women shouldn’t wear X with Y. Yet he looks like Elton fucking John. Both of these flaws about him are coming from the same place. It’s not the place Good Boyfriends come from.

"World peace!"

I'm watching Miss Universe 2009 right now. Yes, we have very delayed telecasts here in Oz. Anyway, I’m not usually one for watching beauty pageants, but I have to admit to lovin' the evening gown worn by Miss Dominican Republic. I’m sure my mum could tailor a suitable knock-off. She’d probably raise an eyebrow at the butt-hugging and see-through parts, though.

...Ok I’m at the notorious Q & A segment of the pageant and am now realising why I do not watch these things. Miss Venezuela: “I believe women are at the same level as men... and we need to realise that there are no longer any barriers between us.”

Yeah, thank God that the objectification of women’s bodies is a thing of the past and we're not paraded around like pretty dolls and you’re not in a multi-million dollar industry founded on shallow and damaging feminine beauty ideals which reinforces the judgement of women on the basis of their physical attractiveness alone on an international scale.

Oh, wait!

ETA: Aaaand she just won Miss Universe. Figures.

Anyway, you just martyred the guy.

WTF?

Do pro "life" extremists honestly not see their own hypocrisy and evil when GUNNING PEOPLE DOWN? In a fucking CHURCH, no less?

I can't believe Dr. Tiller even continued his work after 1985, after his abortion clinic was bombed. I would never have the courage to continue anything in the face of violence and terrorism and hatred, faceless people threatening my family, after bullets in both arms and angry vigils outside my home. I would have packed up, or given in, or gone insane, or changed my identity entirely. I would never have just kept going. But Tiller did for decades.

I do not see how committing horrific crimes can solve anything or be remotely helpful to any serious cause. For the record, most major pro-life organisations have condemned the murder of Dr. Tiller, rightfully saying that violence, terrorism and murder are quite obviously contrary to their goals of protecting the right to life. Some have done so in a pretty backhanded manner though.

"George Tiller was a mass-murderer. We grieve for him that he did not have time to properly prepare his soul to face God. I am more concerned that the Obama Administration will use Tiller's killing to intimidate pro-lifers into surrendering our most effective rhetoric and actions. Abortion is still murder. And we still must call abortion by its proper name; murder. Those men and women who slaughter the unborn are murderers according to the Law of God. We must continue to expose them in our communities and peacefully protest them at their offices and homes, and yes, even their churches."

Randall Terry of Operation Rescue

What exactly is your "most effective rhetoric and actions" if you are concerned that a cold-blooded murder will compromise them? I am really, really disturbed by that statement. Why, after this heinous highly-publicised crime, would you keep perpetuating hate-filled propaganda and practically excuse the murder of a man with friends and family by basically saying, "Yeah, he's dead, too bad he's going to Hell, but he was a murderer 'yknow, great work guys we must continue to 'expose' these people!"

As for you, Scott Phillip Roeder, you perverse, sadistic, pathetic coward of a human being. You value life then shoot it in the face once it's out of the womb, is that how it works?

Murderer.