Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Fightbook

Facebook provides me with entertainment in many ways. People fighting in the ‘comments’ section of their friends’ status updates is one of the main ones.

Just a warning, I’ve directly quoted comments (albeit with all names changed to obvious pseudonyms), painful misspellings, grammar/punctuation abuse, and all; there is also swearing and some offensive remarks. Hey, I'm not editing this crap!


Molly Pollywaffle: i dont care i am not paying for your gastric band surgery !!!stop eating have some exercise and go on a diet !!

That’s a status update by the way. Curious as to what the hell she was on about, I clicked to read the responses. That girl was always thin as a stick during high school, and she is not somebody I would consider overweight in any sense, so I caught a whiff of Thin Privilege, if that is the correct term, as well as an instinct she was going to take the self-righteous they’re spending my HARD-EARNED TAXPAYER DOLLARS route.

Debbie Deffington: hahaha, dont complain! trent pays about 40k a year IN TAX! so we pay for 2 people to bludge on the doll. THAT i think is bullshit >:(

Molly Pollywaffle: thats bullshit i mean why cant these ppl go on a diet excerise eat healthy seriously why should Mr. Pollywaffle pay for that

When another friend points out that losing weight easy isn’t for some, that she knows of somebody who needed gastric band surgery as a ‘matter of life and death’, and that Molly shouldn’t ‘think the worst of people’, Molly defends herself:

Molly Pollywaffle: i dont think the worst of ppl i know obese ppl who found it hard to lose wieght but they have done it lost have the wieght just do the hard work

And Debbie Deffington backs her up: i think the worst of those who bludge on the doll, and my hubby and i on our single income pay for them to do nothing… gastic bypass is a last resort, and honestly....nothing worth doing is easy [referring to losing weight]. gastric bypass leaves you with alot of flabby skin that then requires a tummy tuck to get rid of. so molly has a point. it shoudnt be something covered under health cover. it should be paid for fully out of pocket for those who are too slack to get off the couch.

Somebody else chimes in saying these two don’t know all the facts about people undergoing this surgery, including whether or not it is always covered by private health insurance or taxpayer dollars, and whether or not some people can’t lose weight for health reasons.

Molly Pollywaffle: honesty did u see the ppl on the biggest loser some of them were obese they didnt need gastric band surgery !

Debbie Deffington: and you know what - ANYONE is entitled to put their opinion on fabcebook. if you don’t like what you read, close your fucking eyes.

Everyone is entitled to put their opinion on Facebook… but not YOU ya skank, so shut up! Hey Debbie, how about if you don’t like what others are saying back to you, you close YOUR eyes? Apparently it makes the problems magically go away! And I was so waiting for somebody to use The Biggest Loser as an example in that discussion. Oh, you girls kill me.

Edmund VonCrybaby is another good ‘entertainment contact’. When I didn’t know him that well I used to actually be really concerned that he actually had some sort of depressive illness or needed help, until a mutual friend told me he’d been saying this kind of emo crap via MSN since Year Eight (over a decade ago). His status updates/comments etc. are annoying and ignorant, with whiny emo stamped all over them, and he’s often abusive or downright offensive through them, but I can’t bring myself to delete him ‘cos he’s such a hilarious tantrum-throwing attention seeker. It’s like having a troll on your friends list – only you know exactly who they are!

Edmund VonCrybaby: Do i deserve to be alive - All fingers point to NO

Edmund VonCrybaby: [after voting ‘no’ on a Legalize Same-Sex Marriage’ poll]: Its bad enough there are gay people in the world, we need this disease to die. P.s sorry to any gay friend that i have on here. LOL

Edmund VonCrybaby:To all my ex-friends that didnt bother to reply to my emails, you can go and fuck yourselves.

Edmund VonCrybaby: Doesnt care about life and stuff, soon my gf will leave me and her friends will be happy and god will be happy and the world will continue, she will get a much hotter bf just like she always wanted, well congratulations.

> Bertie Wilkins: (@Edmund VonCrybaby): u better be back at christmas woman or else ima send edmund over in a container to come and find u and bring u back

>Edmund VonCrybaby (@Bertie Wilkins): Christmas is soo long away. I will have faded away in the shadows of aloneness by then

Edmund VonCrybaby: Everyone on my friends list can go fuck themselves, you are all pathetic pieces of shit who should be shot for being fuckstains on the floor of your pathetic sad bedrooms you dumb fucks. Eat my dick you homosexual lesbian seamen manipulating little cunts.

Oh God, what a fucking idiot. And I do not manipulate sailors, how dare you? It takes every ounce of willpower I have not to comment on these ‘LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT ME!’ posts. Luckily he has some girl on his friends list Pepper Papadakis who usually says pretty much what I’m thinking.

Pepper Papadakis: suck a fat one

Pepper Papadakis: whatever dropkick

Pepper Papadakis: Ohh seriously shut the fuck up you depressing cunt, for some unknown reason you actually have a girlfriend so stop being a downer before she realizes she can do better

Pepper Papadakis:

[that loveheart thing being her only response to the ‘Everyone on my friends list can go fuck themselves’ post]

HAHAHAHAHA!!! So not deleting you Edmund, even though you’re an insufferable homophobic wanker with some rather painfully obvious issues.

3 comments:

  1. Ohhh...sea men! *Wipes tears of mirth from eyes*. That's the best 'I'm a fucking idiot' announcement EVER!

    Yeah, man these people with their "OMG I pay so much fucking TAX!!" crap. Exactly how much is the guy earning if, with his dependant spouse rebate, he pays $40G in tax? I mean really people, go look up the tax charts at ATO, dude must be RAKING it in. And...she doesn't exactly specify what it is *she* does while living off her husband's income.

    The thing with these wankers (the TAX IS EVIL gang) is that they are QUITE HAPPY to drive on roads paid for from tax dollars, quite happy that their property is protected by cops/courts/legislation/bureucrats, quite happy to have a public education to send their bigoted little babies to, happy to have sewerage systems, rail infrastructure, footpaths, and State Emergency Services - all of which COSTS TAXPAYER MONEY, is PAID FOR VIA TAX. But apparently ALL THEIR money is going to dole bludgers. Cos it's just so fucking EASY to subsist below the poverty line, isn't it! Douchehounds.

    Also, I love watching self absorbed dicks like the first two just talk right past one another under the guise of 'agreeing' - ohh I KNOW, TAX...YES FAT PEOPLE...that's so true about TAX...

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  2. I couldn’t stop myself, and joined in that 'discussion' - I'm from a low-income background and the term 'dole bludger' plus the hatred behind it elicits a special eye-roll.

    "Debbie, c'mon, it's a bit unfair to lump thousands of disadvantaged people together as 'dole bludgers', most people who are receiving government financial assistance are entitled to it. Disability pensions, carer's allowance, youth allowance for students who can't afford to work fulltime to pay rent, parental assistance for low-income families, sickness allowance, pensioner support, bereavement allowance, drought assistance for farmers..."

    Debbie quickly specifies she was talking about REAL dole bludgers. And she PERSONALLY knows HEAPS of unscrupulous individuals that cheat the system while her husband works long days and it makes her MAD!

    Give it up, Cat.

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  3. Yeah. I'm a single mum with a kid with a disability. In a law lecture once the lecturer asked for stories of bureaucratic red tape. I told him about how I kept getting these calls while I was at work asking for me to come in to Centrelink so they could A/ explain the changes in the laws (minimum participation)and B/ get me to sign a 'Participation Agreement'. I would explain that I had done my own research and knew full well what they changes were, and further that I did not need to sign a participation agreement, as I'd already signed one, and further am doing twice the required paid-work hours on top of university studies and the fact that my son has a disability. They would call every couple of weeks to ask if I might like to use up one of my valuable annual leave days on such an idiotic excercise. Anyway, I thought that was infuriating/kinda funny - take a day off so we can explain to you - patronisingly - what you already know, and so we can get you to sign a piece of paper to say youll do our minimum hours even though you're doing twice that and then some. But the lecturer just stared and said 'But do you think you *deserve* that?' (the money, not the pain in the arse condescension). Nice. "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realise you meant Middle Class red tape stories only!"

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